Make a Difference in Your Life -- Health, Relationships, Career -- Improve Your Communication Skills, Have Greater Self-Confidence ...

NLP is one of the best, if not the best, models for understanding human communication, with proven techniques and processes to help you address what is holding you back.

Taking Charge of Your Life

By Roger Ellerton Phd, ISP, CMC, Renewal Technologies Inc. www.renewal.ca

Share |

How do you live your life? At cause or at effect? It is important to be aware of this distinction. It is the rare individual who always lives his or her life at cause, however far too many of us live a large portion of our lives at effect - responding to the whims, desires or emotional states of others.

Being at cause means that you are decisive in creating what you want in life and take responsibility for what you have achieved or will achieve. You see the world as a place of opportunity and you move toward achieving what you desire. If things are not unfolding as you would like, you take action and explore other possibilities. Above all, you know you have choice in what you do and how you react to people and events.

If you are at effect you may blame others or circumstances for your bad moods or for what you have not achieved or for your life in general. You may feel powerless or depend on others in order for you to feel good about yourself or about life - If only my spouse, my boss, my coworkers, my parents, my children, ... understood me and helped me achieve my dreams or did what I wanted or what is best for me, then life would be great. If you wait and hope for things to be different or for others to provide, then you are at effect or a victim of circumstances. And really, how much fun is that? And how much fun do you think it is for others to be around you? Believing that someone else is responsible or making them responsible for your happiness or your different moods is very limiting and gives this person some mystical power over you, which can cause you a great deal of anguish.

Being at cause means you have choices in your life - you can choose what is best for you while ensuring the choice is ecological for those around you, those in your community and your society. That is, you consider the consequences of your actions on others, while not taking responsibility for their emotional well-being - believing you are responsible for the emotional well-being of someone else places a heavy burden on you and can cause a great deal of stress.

Those who live their lives at effect often see themselves or live their lives as victims with no choices whatsoever. The irony is that they do have choice and they have chosen not to choose but to be responsive to whatever is given to them.

Do I always live my life at cause? No, not a chance. The vast majority of the time I live at cause. And thanks to NLP, I am able to quickly identify those times when I am living my life at effect. To get back on track, I realize that I always have choices in my life and one of the following NLP Presuppositions usually comes to mind: 'There is no failure only feedback' or 'There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states'. NLP techniques, which are the subject of later articles, provide me with the mental resources I require and I am able to explore other ways to achieve my outcomes or ask others for help, without being a victim to their answers.

And NLP is Much more than that!

Share |

Author: Roger Ellerton is a certified NLP trainer, certified management consultant and the founder and managing partner of Renewal Technologies. The above article is an extract from his book Live Your Dreams Let Reality Catch Up: NLP and Common Sense for Coaches, Managers and You.

Copyright © 2004, 2015 Renewal Technologies Inc. All rights reserved.

Books and ebooks by Roger Ellerton

NLP book: Live Your Dreams NLP book: 5 step action plan NLP book: Parents' Handbook NLP book: Win-Win Influence Self-publish your books NLP and Personal Growth Thoughts Volume 1 Book: NLP Techniques Anyone Can Use

You can view all of my books on one page at Amazon or use the links below to take you to a specific book on your country's Amazon site. My books are also available through other fine online book retailers.

For additional information on these books, please see renewal.ca/product.htm.